Woe of Cartoons

As usual this day finds me struggling with cartoonists.

Danny Hellman claims I have been meddling in his affairs.  I have no idea what he is talking about.  But he has defriended me in facebook and yet he is constantly telling me he did a really great photoshop joke picture of Tony here, or there, and that I will never see them — but then I go to Tony’s wall and I can see them.  Danny seems to be like a fairly smart person so I think he must know I can see those posts!  What the hell?

And then there is the agreement I made with Tony Millionaire — there is a documentary being made about him and turns out, they want me to be in it.  The film-maker contacted me and said that since Tony said I write half his jokes that I’d better be in the movie (the percentage of jokes written by me for Maakies is far lower than that, I assure you)  Anyway, I decided to hold Tony up and refuse to be in the documentary unless Tony will do some Kardtrick related comics.  I know we could kick ass if we did so — the fact that Tony is so talented at drawing architecture makes it doubly appealinig.  Anyway, Tony agreed to do one Kardtrick related cartoon every 3 months for the rest of his life.  Later however, he said he “drug-ot” the agreement.  He has no idea what he promised me and I really don’t feel the need to remind him.

And thusly it continues!

Terrence Ross So, Danny, I am wondering how you see history progressing from this point in time. Don’t you want nuclear weapons to be deconstructed, for your loved ones, for your progeny, or even as Jonathan Schell wrote, “for all the heroic and wonderful deeds of the past whose bearers we now represent….”?

Why aren’t you reporting on the injuries suffered in my d0og’s double ass?

D. Hellman knows well what happened but has failed to share that information.

I invoke him, the darkness in him, to manifest itself here!

Dogs often drink, at their master’s behest.

Li’l’ Spot slurps it up,

beginning an ass fest.

Jumping into master’s lap,

they crash into knees

Like the Edmund Fitzgerald.

They also bring fleas.

on another note

I often bring that up if I go to an OA meeting.  I say, would’t it be

great

If food addicts chased each other down the street like the first

alcoholics

Did, dragging them to meetings (Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob apparently had

to chase

Alcohlic no. 3 down the street and drag him to the first AA meetings).

I always

Say if we chased obese americans down the street, it would be very easy

to catch

Them, much easier than bill wilson and dr. bob catching that first

alcoholic.

I bet that alcoholic could run!

The fatties can’t run.  Their legs rub together and their pants often

rip in back.

—–Original Message—–

From: Tony Millionaire [mailto:millionaire@mindspring.com]

Sent: Friday, September 30, 2005 7:47 AM

To: Terrence Ross

Subject: Re: Neua programma

Fast animals could easily outrun fast food people.

The future will be cleaved

Through war between two similar, but different fast food cartels. FAST

FOOD will comprise the restaurants of mcdonalds, burger king, white

castle, and is Completely artificial food made in factories and

laboratories On the other side of this war will be the FAST ANIMALS

movement, Including BOB EVANS restaurants, Country Kitchen, and Amish

Kitche and Cheese Crock.  They will perfect a way of growing giant

animals, 40 foot cows, hogs over 100 feet tall, a single example of

which could feed a small town for days.

This war will be horrible.  The devotees of the FAST FOOD group will be

mind controlled slaves.  They will advance on the BOB EVANS and CHEESE

BARN and AMISH Kitchen like establishments.  In the end, FAST ANIMALS

will be released from their giant pens and stomp on the enslaved food

addicts.  The giant hogs will roll over them just like angry boars in

the farm yard, like hogs which have just had their balls cut off.

But these hogs will be hundreds of feet tall.

Drinky and uncle gabby are shipwrecked, and thirsty. They find a bottle
but a genie pops out, and offers them three wishes. “One will do, turn
the sea into rum!’

“I FOUND A BOTTLE OF BOOZE!” SAYS DRINKY DROW, TO UNDLE GABBY (THEY Are
adrift in a lifeboat)
Uncorking it a genie pops out, “I can grant you three wishes” says the
genie
“one will do, says uncle gabby, turn the sea into booze”

— Terrence Ross wrote:

From: “Terrence Ross”
To:
Subject: poem
Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2007 00:35:02 -0500

Honey oh honey how beutifiul you are
Drunk, and slightly sweating,
I make you a line, we can get home
At any time.

Honey you are so beautiful doing cocaine,
Naked
How lovely, tomorrow I will take you to
A peggy lee concert
On 18th street!