Disclaimer
The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and do not represent anyone else's view in any way, including those of my employer.
© Copyright 2009
The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and do not represent anyone else's view in any way, including those of my employer.
© Copyright 2009
To get started with this, I had to call Tony Millionare. I mean, originally when he said something about me writing this he said he wanted it to be as dirty, as obscene and as insane as possible. But when I thought back on it, I realized that we really were dirty and obscene and quite insane, back in the day, and that maybe he’d want to reconsider given some of the more fecund memories, such as the almost endless stream of “fatties” he picked up after long nights of drinking, or due to the many times he drunkenly bonded himself to street signs and cried his eyes out, or such as the night that he went to Bharmacy and seemingly “materialized” at the bar (he had no idea how he’d gotten there) holding a broken camera, just before a green-beret like character tossed him out on hjs ass. Even though I am not writing this purely as a blog about Tony millionaire’s Maakies, I thought I should at least go into how I first met Tony millionaire—since it is at his behest I write ths—but in order to tell that story I must tell the story of how I first got myself strangely freakily surrounded by cartoonists, something I never imagined when I moved to New York City. I even dated Dame Darcy for a while (another story that I will tell about later, and a story well worth listening to). Anyway, Tony said it was OK to talk about anythng I want, except a couple of things, but don’t worry, I’m going to talk about anyway, just a little later –because you need to know.
Part of the reason I am starting this blog is that for a long time, I have been writing some of the jokes for Maakies and even, from time to time, appearing as a character in the comic. But another part of the reason—a far more important part of the reason–is that there is a book I want to work with Tony on, it is something I feel destined to do with him but Tony will not pay any attention to this idea, even though what I need is someone who can draw architecture well, and that is one of the things he is best at. That he won’t consider this idea is one reason I call this blog “Woe of Cartoons” and “Getting Cartoonists to do the Right Thing,” because if there is one thing I have found out about cartoonists, it is this: they are not intellectuals, but perhaps represent some kind of highly intelligent pre-human breed, such as the pre-human breed that wrote letters and words in hieroglyphs – those weirdoes from the ancient times…some of them may still be walking around today, and we call them “cartoonists.”
The ironc thing about this is that even though Tony has many books out he is not making enough money. I KNOW that if we worked on this book of which I speak – Kardtrick – that one way or another it would pave our way to the millions Tony always dreamed about and has in fact named himself after.
There are other things, many important things I will be getting into here – such as – should the Maakies characters become sober? I talked with Tony about this and he got mad, as usual. Maybe that is because he would have to feel he would have to quit drinking, too, or that he would be jealous of the characters, being that they can drink so much and come back to life and just shoot each other in the head again. For them it is like a drinking Valhalla. But as I pointed out to him the other day, even the Peanuts characters changed, and I think that is what is needed for Maakies to become a truly GREAT comic. The characters must change. They must struggle with alcoholism as so many Americans do. Then Maakies will become a truly great comic, as is its potential. For the time being though it is just a very funny, very wild comic, about little more than mayhem. Adding a bit of intelligence is what I have been hoping for, because so many people struggle for sobriety. Anyone can drink and that is the essential limited market for readers of this cartoon, but there are a lot more people out there struggling for sobriety. It is for them that I am hoping to convince Tony to begin to make some very deep and abiding changes in Maakies. More on this later.
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Tony Millionaire’s a special guy for his architectural renderings. His drawings inspired me to get a job drawing houses; I managed to keep up with that job for over a year before I was finally fired in disgust.
I went door to door in fancy neighborhoods. I charged $150 to $250. Not bad, especially right before Christmas, like now. Just tell them you’ll put flowers in the front yard and leaves on the trees.
In my opinion, stressing an effort to get sober would be a trap. Mr. Millionaire could run out of funny in a hurry. That is not to say that he couldn’t drop efforts at achieving sobriety into the strip when, as and if he has an appropriate thought. I just think that using it as an overarching theme would cause Mr. Millionare to “write himself into a corner”. After all, the strip does not have a very “serial” nature now. why talk of changing the nature of the characters? As to Dr. Ross’ project, only time will tell if it is to be blessed with success or not.
My bone of contention begins with the fact that he ignores even the most hilarious side-effects of drinking, such as the tendency of long-time male drinkers to develop female breasts. I mean, THERE IS A JOKE IN THERE! At the same time, the many small animals being forced to drink alcohol out there — their owners spurned on by Drinky’s immortality — are my main concern. Animals can never be trusted to drink a sane amount, and therefore, having a drink with your pet is ALWAYS abusing another alcoholic, in this case, a sub-human one.
Laying flat on my back swimming in the brine of intoxication, I have often pictured the clouds as something Mr. Millionaire dreamed up. The houses are of course lovely. But the ships, the trees, and birds, and those blasted clouds … that’s what gets me.
How do I find MOST RECENT POSTS on this blog?
Youre lookin’ at ‘em.
I like the new styles!!!!!